


The Major and the Minor Moving On

by Whoknows3



Category: The Major and the Minor (1942)
Genre: Canon Continuation, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-05-18 09:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19332253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoknows3/pseuds/Whoknows3
Summary: Picks up as Susan and Philip board the train and begin their lives together.





	1. Monday, June 9, 1941

“Come, Philip,” I said grasping his hand. My heart was thudding against my ribcage. What if he rejected me for lying to him? What if he didn’t let me explain? But the smile that spread over Philip’s face as he ushered me in front of him made butterflies erupt low in my belly. 

Phillip paused to gather his bags and then followed me onto the train. Once he’d stepped into the hallway behind me nerves fluttered through me again. 

Placing one of his bags on the floor Philip pulled out his ticket and then checked the numbers on the wall. “Our compartment is this way, darling,” Philip said reaching his hand out to me. As I stepped back towards him to take my knee knocked my suitcase into Philip’s leg. He chuckled as I whispered, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” Philip’s smile was so warm I felt my knees turn to water beneath me. Philip picked up his bag and started to walk down the corridor but I didn’t follow. He turned to look over his shoulder when my arm tugged his. 

“Philip,” I started nervously, “I bought a day coach ticket… I wasn’t …” I didn’t know what to say. I wanted so desperately to share a compartment with him, to have our own space and to be with him as myself instead of Sue-sue, but I hadn’t wanted to presume that’s what he wanted. If he’d rejected me I’d have gotten off at the next stop and changed my ticket to return to Stevenson. 

Philip stopped and put one of his bags down again and drew me to him. He smiled into my eyes for a moment before leaning down to kiss me. “I’ll go change your ticket. Can you take another suitcase? We are in compartment 13F.” 

I paused for a moment. We were in the hallway, people were passing and the train had started to move out of the station. How could we discuss sharing a compartment like this? 

Sensing what was behind my hesitation Philip pulled me flush against his chest and kissed my temple. “We’ve shared a compartment before, haven’t we Sue-Sue, darling?” 

I laughed and inhaled deeply of his scent. “We have,” I smiled up at him wondering if he was going to always call me Sue-sue. 

“Well, go on then. Hand me your ticket and I’ll find the conductor and change it. 13F.” 

I pulled my ticket from my pocketbook and handed it over. Then I picked up my suitcase and the smaller of his bags and started down the hall. At the door to the next car I turned and watched Philip walking away. The sight of him made me smile, but I couldn’t shake a nervousness. I knew I needed to explain what happened. I needed Philip to understand that I hadn’t meant to deceive him. I didn’t want to start our life together with a lie between us. 

When I opened the door and stepped into compartment 13F I felt peaceful. I put the suitcases down on the small bench. I sighed and stretched my back and removed my hat. I set my hat on top of my suitcase and turned and sat on the center of the seat. It was only 7 pm and it hadn’t been made over into a bunk yet. I looked up at the folded bunk and smiled as I remembered Philip making it himself while I pretended to be afraid of the conductor. 

I was still smiling when the door opened and Philip stepped inside. 

“What are you smiling at?” He asked as he unceremoniously dropped his bag on the floor and sat down next to me slinging his arm around my shoulders. 

“Oh, I was just remembering,” I smiled and put my head on his shoulder. “Were you able to change the ticket alright?” 

“Yes. All changed.” 

“What did you tell the conductor?” 

“The truth. That my silly fiancé was surprising me by joining me and didn’t know which compartment I was in so she bought a day coach ticket.” 

I reached my arms around Philip and hugged him to me. “Thank you,” I said softly. 

Philip rested his cheek on the top of my head and ran his hand up and down my back. We sat in silence for a few moments before I pulled away and sat up. 

“I need to explain,” I started. My voice shook a little with nervousness. 

“No, you don’t,” Philip’s warm brown eyes soothed something raw in me. His right arm was still around my back, but I reached out and clasped his left hand in both of mine. 

“I do. Please listen.” 

Philip nodded his assent and scooting closer so our legs were touching I began, “I had to get home, Philip. I was so tired of being pawed in New York. I was unhappy and needed to leave. I’d been there for a year and from the time I went out there I’d had my return fare in an envelope so I could always go home. I didn’t know they’d raised the rates and I didn’t have enough money for full fare. But I’d let go of my hotel room and resigned my job… I saw a woman buying half fare tickets for her children and I decided to buy one. I got a man, well, I told him I’d pay him $.50 but he stole $3 when the conductor gave him the change. Though, perhaps I deserved it.” 

I shrugged and looked up at Philip’s eyes. They shone down on me with love and compassion in them. I slid even closer so our sides were flush against each other and Philip’s arm hugged me tightly to him. 

“I was running away from two conductors, who realized I was an adult, when I slipped into your compartment. The door was unlocked so I thought it was empty. I just meant to hide and let the conductors run past. I wasn’t thinking. And then you were so nice.”

“You must have thought me so silly when I tried to put you back to sleep in the storm,” Philip said chuckling. I laughed too and released his hand to put my arms around him and hug him to me. “I think I fell a little in love with you right then, Philip,” I whispered into his neck. 

Philip leaned down and I tilted my head up so he could kiss me. Then replacing my head on his shoulder I continued, “I was going to tell you the truth the next morning, but then …” 

“Pamela happened.” 

“Yes. I didn’t know what to do. You had been so wonderful to me and I didn’t want to cause you any trouble. And I wanted to stay with you a little longer, too I think. So I went with you. Well, and you know how that turned out.” 

Philip and I both laughed. 

“Those boys, they are little wolves,” I shook my head.

“I don’t doubt it,” Philip laughed. Then he sighed and squeezing me to him asked, “But why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me before you left?” 

“I couldn’t,” I sat up again, I needed to look into his eyes while I told him this. 

“But you wanted to?” 

“Yes, desperately.” I took a deep breath, “I’m not sure how, but Pamela figured out that I am me, not a twelve-year-old. I went back to meet you after the dance and found her there instead of you. She told me she’d told you I had a stomach ache and that I was to leave immediately on the 11 pm train without telling anyone or she would see to it there was a nasty scandal that resulted in you being cashiered out. I … I knew how important your service is to you, and I couldn’t do that, especially after trying to help you get your promotion and how happy you were.” 

“You helped?” 

“Oh,” I laughed. “Yes, remember when you found me at the switchboard? I’d made a long-distance call to Pamela’s friend, General McQuirter’s wife Cornelia, pretending to be Pamela and asking her to nag General McQuirter until he put you back into active service.” 

“You did that for me?” The fire in Philip’s eyes sent a little thrill through me. 

“It was important to you.”

Philip crushed me against him kissed me deeply. I felt a tremor in my fingers and toes and like molten lava was unfurling in my belly. 

When Philip pulled away I was panting. My heart was racing and I had no idea what to say. I leaned forward and kissed him. When I began to struggle to breathe again I turned my head and kissed his cheek, “I’m sorry I lied, Philip, I never meant to hurt you, or cause trouble for you.” 

“I’m so glad you did,” Philip said cupping my cheek, “So very glad.” 

“You didn’t know?” 

“No, not on the train or at Wallace Military. Well, for a moment in my office I thought I could see how beautiful you would be when you grew up, but now I see my vision paled in comparison to how beautiful you really are.” 

I felt my cheeks grow warm and ducked my head. 

“I thought it was you at your mother’s house.” 

“I know you did. I’m sorry, I thought you’d married Pamela and I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to cause any trouble for you. I thought you’d either have to keep it a secret or she’d be angry.” 

“I understand that now. I was so disappointed when I got in that taxicab and came back to the station. I thought it was you, and then …I hoped it wasn’t.” 

I smiled and pulled him towards me, “I’m so very glad Lucy sent you to me.” 

“Lucy knew?” 

“The whole time. She helped me so much, she was the one who pointed out that Pamela…” I stopped, this might be going too far. As I was searching for words, Philip supplied, “didn’t love me? Or didn’t love me enough to consider what I wanted?” 

“Yes,” I nodded, “I’m sorry.” 

“Why?” 

“It must be terrible to learn someone you cared for doesn’t care for you in the same way.” I could not say loved. Thinking that Philip loved Pamela who hadn’t cared for him at all made me angry. 

Philip nodded stroking his fingers up my cheek and into my hair, “I thought that’s what it might have been like, but it wasn’t. I felt free when she declared she didn’t want what I wanted. Besides, you love me enough to consider what I want.” 

“I do,” I nodded. 

Philip leaned down and kissed me gently. We sat in silence for a time. 

Philip broke the silence as he stood and pulled me up with him, “Come, let’s go have supper in the dining car.” 

I nodded and looked around our compartment. 

“I’ll tell the porter to make up the bunks too,” Philip added. 

I nodded tightly and Philip laced his fingers into mine. “Darling, do you want me to sleep in the day coach?” he asked. 

“No. No, not at all,” I answered. As I said it, I realized it was true. We weren’t married yet, but we would be. We could share this compartment. 

Philip kissed my forehead, “Sue-sue, I love you and if you are uncomfortable…”

My heart swelled with love for this wonderful man, “No, it isn’t that, I think I’m …” I shrugged, “I think it has just been a surprising and eventful day. In a very good way,” I added as I saw Philip’s face fall. “I don’t know, darling, I guess I just feel so much right now I don’t know what to do with it all.” 

Philip smiled down and kissed me softly, “I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ll go have supper and discuss our future.” 

“Alright,” I agreed, “that does sound lovely.” 

§§§

As we dined we discussed our wedding plans. The trip to Reno would be over 38 hours long. We’d have two unmarried nights in our train compartment, tonight and Tuesday night, before arriving in Reno on Wednesday morning. We would get marred in Reno before a six and a half hour trip to San Francisco where we would purchase tickets for a 12 hour train ride from San Francisco to San Diego. Philip explained that if we didn’t delay anywhere we’d arrive in San Diego Thursday. As we left the table to return to our compartment Philip asked me if I’d like to stop for a day or so in Reno, San Francisco or Los Angeles for a honeymoon. 

We navigated the corridor in silence as I contemplated this. 

When we reached our compartment door Philip reached around me to open it and I stepped inside. Both bunks were made up and something about this took my breath away. I was going to sleep in a compartment with a man I was not married to. I know Philip and I did this before, but he believed I was a child at the time. And now I knew that I loved him with every fiber of my being. I couldn’t decide if I thought sharing the compartment was wrong. 

Philip gently pushed me forward. I hadn’t realized I’d stepped in and froze, blocking his entry. 

Once he was inside and had closed the door, Philip kissed my temple and drew me down to sit next to him on the lower bunk. I sighed as we each looped an arm around the other’s back. Something about this man comforted me and I wanted him close to me. 

“Well, what do you think? Would you like to take a mini-honeymoon, knowing we will go on a real trip once I return from the war, or would you like to wait?” Philip asked. 

“When are you due to report?” I replied.

“Seven am Monday morning. But I can’t check into housing over the weekend, so if we don’t arrive by Friday afternoon we’ll have to get a hotel.” Philip paused for a moment, “although, perhaps we should get a hotel. They are expecting me to be single, not married, I can wire ahead, but it’s wartime. I don’t know what the accommodations will be. And we need to find accommodations for you for while I’m overseas. Unless you plan on returning to Iowa.” 

“Will there be work I can do in San Diego?” 

“I’m not sure. You don’t have to work, but if you want to I believe there are places to work in San Diego, but if there aren’t, I am sure there’s work in Long Beach or Los Angeles. But, we have time to decide that yet. I won’t ship out for another two weeks while we do some unit cohesion training and I get intelligence briefings. You can meet the other wives and decide if you’d like to stay on the West Coast or go back to your mother in Iowa.” 

“Where is your family?” 

“Oregon.” 

“I would like to meet them.” 

Philip smiled widely, “They will love you. Perhaps we can arrange that while I am overseas so you don’t have to wait until I return.” 

“That would be nice. Philip, how long do you think you will be overseas?” 

“I don’t know, I believe we will get into this war, and if we do I might be gone for some time.” 

Philip looked searchingly into my eyes. I smiled and asked, “Where will you be? Will I be able to write you?”

“I’ll be in the Philippines. You’ll be able to write, but the letters may take some time to reach me and mine will take time to reach you too.” 

“I know, but even if I have to wait and wait for them, I’ll be happier knowing we can write. I’ll miss you.” 

“I’ll miss you too, darling.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I contemplated our upcoming separation. Somehow even though I’ve only known him for such a short time, I know in my very bones I want to be with Philip enough to bear it. 

“What did your mother think of all of this?” Philip asked me, “I didn’t get to meet her, was she home?” 

I laughed and found I could not stop. My laughter became infectious and Philip started laughing too. When I’d finally calmed enough to speak, I explained, “I was so upset when I came home, I couldn’t really explain it to her. Then as time passed I was too sad and I just didn’t want to talk about you, or how I met you, or losing you, so I hadn’t told her anything about it until you called from the station. She thought I’d lost my mind. Then when you left I tried to explain while I packed. In the end I told her that either I’d write and explain my happiness or I’d be back with a broken heart. I should write and post a letter to her in the morning.” 

“Yes,” Philip agreed, his voice becoming husky, “you should write and explain your happiness.” 

Philip kissed me and something leapt to life inside of me at the feel of his hands on my body and his lips on mine. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him close running my fingers up into his hair. He began to kiss down the side of my neck and I shuddered against him. I felt warm and tingly and alive. I ran my hands down his back and arms and gasped when he drew my earlobe into his mouth. 

I pulled away panting hard. I wanted him to love me, but we weren’t married and something in me couldn’t give myself to him in this way until we were. I think Philip, wonderful man that he is, understood this about me. His hands transformed from exciting heat to tender caresses and he kissed my forehead, nose and then lips tenderly before saying, “Why don’t you go change, darling.” 

I smiled and kissed his cheek and then stood and took my suitcase into the bathroom. 

When I emerged in my nightgown, Philip smirked and asked, “no troubles with your buttons then?” 

I laughed, “maybe soon.” 

Philip laughed and kissed me on his way to retrieve his pajamas from his suitcase. 

“Top or bottom?” Philip asked before entering the restroom. 

“Bottom,” I answered sitting down on the bottom bunk. 

While Philip changed I crawled under the covers of the bottom bunk and laid on my back. I reached over and lifted the shade and stared out the window at the full moon and the stars above the darkness passing. 

I looked over and smiled when I heard Philip emerge. 

“Trouble with your shade?” 

“No, no trouble,” I smiled back. 

“Sit up,” Philip stated as he leaned in to draw down the shade for me. I sat up and turned to watch him. We were exactly as we were that first night, Philip leaning across the bunk pulling the shade down and me sitting up, turned to face him, clutching the blanket to my chest. Suddenly hot tears were rolling down my cheeks. 

Philip’s eyes widened when he turned from successfully closing the shade, “What’s wrong!?” he asked sounding alarmed. 

I couldn’t speak without sobbing so I just stared at Philip until he drew me into his arms. Again, we were exactly as we were when he told me about dwarves in the storm. The only difference was this time, instead of continuing to clutch the blanket to my chest I wrapped my arms around Philip. 

“Shhh, Shhhh, what is it, darling?” Philip asked as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. 

Once I knew I could speak I answered, “I don’t know, darling. I was just watching you and thinking of that first night when you thought I was a little girl. You are such a good man Philip and I am so lucky. I just…” I shrugged at a loss to explain a feeling I didn’t even understand, “I was just suddenly crying.” 

Philip continued to run his warm hand up and down my back. I listened to his heartbeat under my cheek and I felt safe and warm and loved. I didn’t know what I was going to do without Philip when he went off to war. I could feel myself relaxing in his embrace. Finally, Philip whispered, “I love you too, darling,” and kissed my forehead before slipping out of the bunk and gently laying me down. When he pulled the blankets up to tuck me in, I grabbed his wrist and pulled, he leaned down and kissed me gently whispering, “sweet dreams,” against my lips. 

“Thank you, you too,” I whispered back, closing my eyes. I heard Philip climb up to his bunk and shift around a little, the next thing I knew Philip was kissing my forehead. I woke with a start. 

“We are stopping in Lincoln, Nebraska for an hour in about twenty minutes. I thought you might like to post a letter,” Philip smiled. 

“Oh, I would, thank you,” I said reaching out and hugging him. “Good morning,” I added kissing his cheek. 

“Good morning,” he smiled down at me. Philip was completely dressed already. I don’t know how he did that without waking me up. 

“How can you get up and dressed so early, all without waking me?” I asked. 

“Military training,” Philip answered with a smirk. I laughed as he pulled me out of bed. “Go get dressed,” he ordered and I laughingly saluted, “yes, sir” as I entered the bathroom.


	2. Tuesday, June 10, 1941

We breakfasted side by side at a lunch counter near the station and as we ate I composed a letter to Mother explaining that I was going to marry Philip and go with him to San Diego. As I contemplated what to write next, I looked up and asked Philip, “do you think I should stay in California and find some work there or return to Iowa?” 

“Why don’t you see how you like California while we are there and then you can decide and we will plan from there.” 

I nodded, “will it make a difference when you get leave?” 

“No, it will be easier to get to you if you are in California, but I’ll have enough warning that if you go back to Iowa you can meet me in California so we can spend the most time together.”

“Alright,” I nodded and then looked down to write that I’d decide whether or not to stay in California once we were there and I would write often. I signed the letter “Love, Susan” and was folding it when Philip asked, “may I write something?” 

“To my mother?” 

“To my future-mother in law.” 

“Yes,” I grinned like a fool up at him. 

Philip took the pen from my hand. I rested my chin on his shoulder and watched as he wrote, “Dear Mrs. Applegate, Thank you for trusting me with your only daughter. I love her more than I can express and know that I am the luckiest man in the world that she loves me too. I know when I go overseas it will be difficult for her. When she is lonely, please remind her my heart is with her and surely my love will carry me home safely to her. I am sorry I didn’t get to meet you when I stopped in Stevenson yesterday. You must be wonderful to have raised such an amazing daughter. Love, Philip.” 

I gave Philip a watery smile as he folded the letter and slid it into an envelope. 

“Let’s go post this,” Philip said sliding from his stool and pulling out money to leave for our breakfast. “Would you like anything from the drug store for the train?”

“No, thank you, I have everything I need,” I smiled up at Philip. 

§§§

We spent the day sitting on the seat in our compartment talking about everything our childhoods, our families, our dreams. We lunched in our compartment and that may have been the only time in the whole day we weren’t touching in some way. We held hands, Philip tucked me into his side and put his arm around me. The more we talked and touched and smiled the more in love with this man I fell. I could not believe how lucky I was. 

When we returned from supper and found the turned down bunks, I wasn’t nervous or uncomfortable as I’d been the night before. I emerged from the bathroom in my night gown and climbed into the bottom bunk. I thought about raising the shade so Philip would crawl in and pull it down. I was still sitting up staring at the shade while Philip stepped out of the bathroom in his pajamas. 

“Trouble with the shade?” 

I smiled, I could hear the smile in his voice. 

“I was thinking about singing out for help,” I answered and reached a hand out to Philip. He slid into the bunk and leaned back against the wall so as not to bump his head on the upper. I put my head above his heart and wrapped my arms around him as his arms came to settle around me. 

We sat, curled up together, in silence for a time. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be in Philip’s arms like this. It felt like coming home. As I breathed in the scent of Philip and felt the warmth of his body seep into mine I realized this is what I’d been searching for. I sighed, “This is what I was missing…” 

“Missing?” Philip asked his voice managing to be soft and husky at the same time. Something tickled in my belly at the sound of it. 

“Yes, I’ve always felt something was missing, it’s why I kept trying different jobs in Stevenson and then moved to Chicago and then back to Stevenson and then New York and then I was on my way back to Stevenson, when I found you instead. This Philip, you, your arms feel like home. Here, this, this is what I was looking for. Oh, I sound like a sap.” 

Philip chuckled and ran his fingers down my arm. “You don’t sound like a sap. I was worried, truly worried it wasn’t fair to ask you to marry me when we were sitting on your mother’s porch and I was hoping you were you. But, I feel the same Sue-sue, I feel that you belong with me and I with you.” 

I turned and kissed his chest right over his heart. “Are you always going to call me Sue-sue?” 

Philip’s laugh shook me until I had to laugh too. He looked down and kissed me tenderly, then his kiss became deeper and more urgent. When he drew away he kissed along my jaw sending little sparks of pleasure right to my belly. My fingers were trembling and my heart was beating against my ribcage when Philip stopped kissing me and answered, “Yes. Not when we are in public or with other people. I’m sure I’ll introduce you as my wife Susan or Sue. But when we are alone like this, yes, I will always call you Sue-sue. Because I see the Sue-sue underneath the Susan. And I will always remember how Sue-sue lightened my heart.” 

Philip kissed me softly and then whispered against my skin, “besides, darling, that’s the name I knew when I fell in love with you.” 

I smiled and squeezed Philip tightly. He shifted us down so we were laying with him partially propped up on the pillow and me draped across his chest. My heart resumed its hammering, we were lying in a bed together, unmarried. But as we lay and breathed I felt how loved I was. When I was hovering on the edge of sleep, Philip started to try to slide out from under me. 

“No,” I whispered, squeezing him tightly, or as tightly as I could with my sleep relaxed arms, “stay.” 

Philip stroked his hand down my back and then shifted slightly lower to be fully lying down. He put his arm around my back and I sighed, this was pure happiness. 

“Goodnight, darling,” I whispered. 

“Goodnight,” Philip whispered back.


	3. Wednesday, June 11, 1941

Wednesday morning Philip woke me up when he tried to disentangle himself from me. 

“Mmmmmmm” I groaned stretching against him. I heard him swallow a gasp and stopped moving. “Sorry,” I whispered burying my face in his neck. 

Philip turned us onto our sides and kissed me, “Good morning my beautiful bride-to-be, welcome to our wedding day.” 

I grinned up at him. “Good morning, when will we arrive in Reno?” 

Philip checked his watch, “Not for about an hour and twenty minutes.” 

I sat up yawned, “let’s have breakfast on the train so we can spend all of our time in Reno getting married.” 

“A lovely plan,” Philip kissed the tip of my nose, “have you a wedding dress?” 

“Well, it’s not a wedding dress exactly, it’s an evening gown, I hope you like it.” 

“I’m sure anything you wear will be perfect.” 

I rolled my eyes as we stood and Philip went to the bathroom first. 

Before I entered the bathroom I asked Philip to bring breakfast back to the compartment because I’d feel silly sitting in the dining car in an evening gown. Philip got dressed and left while I stood in the bathroom and began on my hair and makeup. 

I paused at the bathroom door and took a deep breath before entering the compartment. I hoped Philip liked my dress. I was wearing the one I’d worn to meet him after the dance. It was by far the nicest garment I owned and I felt glamorous in it. When I stepped into the compartment Philip’s jaw dropped. 

“Sue,” he stammered, “you look stunning.” Philip carefully placed the tray on the lower bunk and rose to pull me into his arms. “Stunning,” he repeated as he leaned in to kiss me passionately. 

We ate breakfast and soon we arrived in Reno. As we stepped off the train my heart thudded. It turned out there were three other couples consisting of two army soldiers and one navy sailor and their fiancés planning to marry in Reno and a porter showed the eight of us the way to a small white chapel. 

Once we’d all arrived and paid our three dollars and filled out license paperwork the minister asked, “who’s first?” 

Like all things military, we’d be married in rank order and one of the boys stated “the major” while another said “Kirby.” 

Philip and I stepped forward while the two soldiers stood as witnesses. The minister was a short, stout elderly man with a rosy nose and cheeks. His thin white hair was combed in wisps over the top of his balding head. He reminded me a little of a beardless, balding Santa Claus. 

From the moment Philip and I joined hands, all I could see were his eyes. I heard my own voice repeating something after the minister, and then Philip leaned forward and kissed me. I threw my arms around him. 

When we parted Philip turned and thanked the minister. “My pleasure, Major, Mrs. Kirby,” he replied. 

Philip and I stepped down to the pews arm in arm. Mrs. Kirby. I was Mrs. Major Philip Kirby. It felt wonderful. A few short weeks ago I hadn’t even met Major Philip Kirby and now he was mine for life. 

A staff sergeant and his girl were married next and when they stepped down the sergeant shook Philip’s hand and said, “Thank you sir, why don’t you and the missus go back to the train? We can witness for each other.” 

“Of course,” Philip shook the other men’s hands and kissed the cheeks of the ladies while the other men all kissed my cheek and I hugged the ladies. Then Philip were walking back towards the train station arm in arm. 

“They didn’t want you to stay?” I asked perplexed by this. The three men had seemed so happy to greet Philip while we were gathering on the platform. 

“No, I’m an officer and they can’t revel while I’m there.” 

“Oh,” I smiled. That made sense. 

§§§

Finally, Philip and I were alone in our compartment. The porter had converted the bunks back into the single sofa seat and we sat down. Philip leaned back and made sure the shades were pulled down tight before pulling me into his arms and kissing me passionately. 

When I couldn’t breathe and turned my head to slowly kiss down Philip’s neck, he whispered, “let’s stay in San Francisco tonight. We can take a train to Oceanside tomorrow morning.” 

“Yes.” I answered. 

The six and a half hours to the Berkley station felt simultaneously like an eternity and the blink of an eye. Philip and I laughed and talked and his hands roamed boldly over my body. I changed from the evening gown into my black traveling suit and Philip’s hand kept running over my knee to come to rest on my thigh. It sent delicious tremors through me. 

At Berkley we detrained and took a bus to San Francisco. At the San Francisco station Philip brought tickets for the Friday night train and asked for a hotel recommendation. I was so enamored of Philip all I remember of the hotel was that it was a short cab ride from the station and the lobby was tasteful. When we got up to our room it took my breath away for a moment. There was one large bed in the center of the room, a bed Philip and I would share as man and wife tonight. There was a dining table and four chairs, a small kitchenette and a sofa and radio along with the bathroom and closet. It was the kind of hotel you could live in. The kind I had lived in in New York and Chicago, but much larger. The bed wasn’t even a pull down. I thought it might be too expensive for one night but Philip pulled me to him and kissed my temple as the porter set our suitcases on little folding tables. 

“Need anything else, sir?” 

“No, thank you,” Philip said handing the man some coins, “oh, do I need to do anything special to call long distance?” 

“No, sir.” 

“Thank you.”

Philip called the base while I opened our suitcases and carried Philip’s dopp kit and my cosmetics bag into the restroom. 

When he hung up the phone, Philip turned to me, “well, it’s almost 7, would you like to go have supper?” 

We went to a small diner around the corner from our hotel. It was delicious. As we shared a slice of cake, our own mini wedding cake, for dessert, Philip said wistfully, “I wish I’d made a reservation for us to eat somewhere you could wear that gown.” 

I reached across the table and took his hand in mind, “This is nicer. More cozy. I’m happy to just eat with you and besides this way we’ll be back in our room sooner.” 

He smiled and his eyes roved over me in a way that turned my bones to liquid and made me shiver with anticipation. 

When we returned to our room, Philip pulled me against him and kissed me deeply. Butterflies erupted in my belly and I put my trembling fingers into his hair. Philip began to unbutton my jacket and I shivered. 

“Cold?” 

“No.” 

“Nervous?” He kissed along my jaw line.

“A little,” I answered honestly grabbing his face and bringing his lips back to mine. I let all of my love out into that kiss. 

“Don’t be,” Philip pushed my jacket down my arms and began to kiss down my neck, “I’ll take care of you.” 

“I know,” I answered pulling the tail of his tie from his shirt. Philip stopped kissing my neck as I reached up and unknotted his tie. I smiled as I felt it slide around his neck. When I unceremoniously dropped it onto the floor, we both laughed. 

Then Philip stepped forward and kissed me hungrily. I felt my heart pound even harder against my ribcage and tickling warmth pooled into my belly. Suddenly Philip bent and swept me into his arms and carried me to bed.


	4. Thursday, June 12, 1941

When I awoke in the morning I was draped across Philip’s chest with his heart beating softly beneath my cheek. My left leg was draped over him and I could feel the soft heat of him against my skin. One of his arms was draped across my back and he was tracing the fingers of his other hand up and down my bare arm. He was awake. I sighed and cuddled in to him. He squeezed me in response. 

We laid together in warm comfortable silence for a moment before I tilted my head up and he leaned down to kiss me. 

“Good morning,” I whispered, “what time is it?” I added a little more loudly. 

“Almost eight thirty,” Philip answered his hands beginning to roam up and down my back and sides. 

“Have you been awake long?” 

“Not long, we were up awfully late.” 

I smiled into his chest, we had been up late consummating our marriage a few times. 

“Mmmmm,” I responded. 

“How would you like to spend today?” Philip asked. 

“With you.” 

Philip laughed and rolled us on to our sides. “You will most definitely be with me,” Philip said nuzzling my ear and looping his leg over me so he could pull me even closer. I could feel him hot and hard against my belly and I leaned up to kiss him. 

We didn’t leave our room until a little after eleven am. Freshly washed and showered, Philip suggested we go down to the wharf and eat lunch somewhere there. 

In the lobby, Philip paid our bill and arranged for our suitcases to be taken directly to the station. Our train didn’t leave until 7 pm. We’d arrive in San Diego at 7 am Friday. As we walked arm in arm through San Francisco Philip explained that he would have to do paperwork and get supplies on Friday, and I might too, and we’d have to work out housing he’d alerted the base he’d married and would require married officer’s housing, but Philip wasn’t sure it would be available. Whether we stayed in a hotel or on the base the weekend would be our own before he reported for duty Monday morning. Then we’d have two weeks before he shipped out and I had to decide to stay in San Diego or travel back to Iowa without him. 

 

§§§

By the time we boarded our train Thursday night I was delirious with happiness. Philip and I had a delectable lunch of freshly caught fish and then as we were walking passed a photographer. We’d stopped and had our photographs taken. We posed standing in an embrace and with me seated and Philip behind me. We got two copies of both of those, one for each of us. Then Philip posed alone for me and I posed alone for him. We did two poses of me alone. One a more traditional smile and one blowing Philip a kiss. As we were leaving the shop I’d asked for one more copy of the photo of Philip and I with me seated to send to my mother. Philip bought two more copies so he could send his parents a copy too. All nine precious photographs were in paper sleeves in my pocketbook and as we sat and waited for the train to arrive I’d pulled one or two out several times to smile at them. 

As soon as we boarded the train we left our suitcases in our compartment and made our way to the dining car. On the way we passed the porter and Philip asked him to make up the lower bunk in 37A. I blushed, but there was no way we were sleeping in separate bunks. Who cares if the porter knows I told myself. 

When we returned to our compartment I pulled Philip into my arms, “I am looking forward to spending time in a hotel or a house with you, but Philip, …I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ride a train again without, without, just, I love you so much and I wanted you to be mine from the moment you tried to put me to sleep that first night. I think trains will always be special to me now, they will always remind me of how much I love you and of how lucky I am.” 

Philip kissed me softly and then stepped out of the circle of my arms. Silently he made sure the shades were drawn and the door was locked. I didn’t feel scared or worried that he hadn’t responded. I stood in the center of our compartment and watched him move about. He removed his jacket and hung it up, then he removed mine and hung it. Then he turned and pulled me into his arms. The swaying of the train rocked us gently as we made love in our bottom bunk that night.


	5. Friday, June 13, 1941

It felt like months later when we were finally walking inside our assigned suite in the middle of Naval Base San Diego. Our suite was lovely and on the top floor of one of the halls where all of the soldiers and sailors lived. Soldiers and sailors lived in double bed dormitories but offices had their own rooms that increased in size and amenities with rank. Our suite had had a large open floor plan with a living room, dining area and kitchen and down a small hallway there were two bedrooms and a bathroom. Our suite had beautiful views of the ocean stretching endlessly on with a foreground of massive battleships crawling with sailors. When we arrived we filled out endless forms. I needed a base pass. Philip had to go to various places around the base and have a card signed. He was issued supplies for war including guns and ammunition. I was issued pots and pans. Privates had taken our suitcases and issued supplies to the suite and we’d had supper at the commissary because I wasn’t allowed in the officer’s mess and Philip did not want me to eat alone our first night. The base seemed like a maze to me and I wasn’t sure I’d ever learn my way around it. It seemed that everywhere we went had beautiful ocean views full of battleships. 

Philip and I spent the weekend making love and exploring San Diego. We went to the zoo and Balboa park. We went to a grocery store and I finally had the opportunity to cook for Philip and for us to have a cozy meal alone together. 

Our first week in San Diego passed in somewhat of a blur. Philip got up early and reported for duty and I learned which bus to take to the market and cleaned and cooked and wrote my mother. We went to the movies twice and on Friday had supper with other officers and their wives. The ladies were very friendly but none of them had ever worked and none of them planned to if or when their husbands deployed overseas. I thought this odd and asked Philip about it when we got home. 

“Philip, none of the officer’s wives have ever worked? None of them plan to work after…after their husbands deploy?” 

“Well, most of them never have. A lot of people in the military marry very young, so since they never have they don’t think about going back to work. I make enough money to support you and you don’t have to work, darling.” 

I tilted my head and contemplated this for a while. “I know most women don’t work after they are married, but, well, I’m afraid I will miss you too much if I don’t work while you are away. Is it wrong if I work? Or offensive? It’s just, I think I will want to distract myself from the fact that you won’t be home for dinner with work.”

“I understand, darling. It’s not offensive. When I return and we start a family, that’s different from when you are alone while I am away.” 

We spent our second weekend much like the first, we made love and slept in, then we went to a movie. Saturday night we went out dancing with some of the other officers and their wives. Sunday morning I was dressing for church and Philip was sprawled on the bed half dressed because he claimed he takes much less time to be ready when our phone rang. Philip answered and his side of the conversation consisted mostly of “yes, sir.” When he hung up Philip sprang into action and was almost completely dressed before I could ask, “What is it?” 

“I have to go in.” 

“On a Sunday?”

“Yes, I’ve been called to a meeting with General MacArthur.” 

“General MacArthur?”

“Yes, he retired and was the military advisor to the Philippines, but he was just recalled into active duty. Apparently, he’s here and would like to meet with the officers who will be stationed with him.” 

“On a Sunday? Is something wrong? Something that can’t wait until tomorrow?” 

Philip pulled me to him and kissed me. “I don’t know. I was told to report at 0900,” he shrugged. 

“Okay,” I kissed him. 

“Will you still go to church?” 

“Yes, I’m sure there will be other wives there I can sit with.” 

At church I sat with Sandy and Lorraine, the wives of two of the captains in Philip’s unit. When I returned home Philip was already there. 

“Good news,” he said drawing me into his arms and pulling my hat off. 

“What?”

“The army has decided to send a large contingent of troops to the Philippines and MacArthur thinks my years at Wallace Military will help me train them. So he wants me to wait here and embark with them so we can do training exercises during the voyage.”

“Wait here? How long?” I asked my chest swelling with hope. 

“Until after they arrive from Texas in six weeks. We deploy August 5th.”

“Six weeks? You will be here six more weeks?” 

“Yes…I”

I cut off whatever else Philip wanted to say with my kiss. Joy bubbled up through me. Six more weeks with Philip instead of one more week. 

 

§§§

The weeks flew by and we fell into a routine. I made regular trips to the market or exchange and cooked. I joined two sewing circles of wives. The Wednesday group was composed entirely of army officers’ wives and no real needlework went on. We sat in a circle in the living room of a colonel’s wife and drank coffee and lemonade and talked with needles and hooks stilled on our laps. The Thursday group was larger and held in the moral welfare and recreation building by the exchange. It was composed of both army and navy wives of men of all ranks and there were several circles of women knitting or sewing or crocheting. I knit Philip a warm hat and scarf. I wanted to knit him a sweater but knew he’d never get to wear it if we entered the war and that I wouldn’t finish it in time. 

As the days passed I found myself secretly hoping we’d enter the war so it would be over quickly and Philip would come home to me. I knew that I’d fallen in love with Philip quickly and deeply, but I hadn’t realized how much I would love being married to him. I loved falling asleep and waking up in his arms, I loved making love with him, I loved sitting curled up with him on the sofa while we listened to the radio or he read the newspaper and I knit. I loved being able to touch him however I wanted, to hold his hand, to curl up against his side, to caress his face and run my fingers through his hair. I loved how much Philip touched me. He often placed his opposite hand over mine while my arm was looped through his. And when we were alone, it often felt like his hands were magnetically drawn to my body, he would run his fingers up and down my arms and legs and back, lace our fingers together, caress my face and pull me to him. I’d come to love his body as much as I loved his kind and compassionate heart and brilliant mind. I knew when I watched him sail away my heart would break.

 

§§§ Monday, July 14, 1941

In the pre-dawn hours I woke up with a start. I was going to be sick. When I tried to get out of bed Philip pulled me back, I shoved his am off of me and cried, “No!”

Philip released me and sat up saying, “Wha..” in an alarmed voice, but I couldn’t stop to answer, I leaped from the bed, stumbling in the tangled sheets. I was almost to the toilet when I vomited all over the bathroom floor.

“Sue! Are you alright? Sue?” 

I couldn’t answer. I stepped over as much vomit as I could to kneel in front of the toilet and empty my stomach again. 

“Oh, darling.” I heard Philip say. I could hear him moving about and even thought I’d stopped vomiting for the moment I couldn’t raise my head to look at him. I felt terrible and I was embarrassed I’d vomited all over the floor. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Shhhh, shhhh, don’t be,” Philip soothed as he wiped vomit from the floor with our bath towels. He tossed the vomit soaked towels into the shower and laid a damp cool washcloth over my neck. 

“Would you like some water? Or is it too soon?” 

“Too soon,” I whispered. 

Philip filled a cup with water, grabbed a small towel and came to sit next to me. He put the cup of water against the wall and then started trying to shift me to put the towel under my legs. I looked up at him quizzically, why was he trying to move me? 

“The floor is cold, come on, let’s get this under you,” he answered my silent question. 

When the towel was under my legs, Philip sat next to me and stroked my back and hair. I vomited for a third time and began to cry. Philip handed me the cup of water. I rinsed my mouth and spit into the toilet, then Philip drew me against him and tried my tears with his thumb. We sat in silence on the cold bathroom floor for a while. 

“I think I can go back to bed now,” I finally said. 

Philip helped me stand and stood next to me as I brushed my teeth. There was vomit on my nightgown so I took it off and tossed it to the shower with the vomit soaked towels I’d have to wash in the morning. Philip brought me my one piece pajama pants jumper. 

“Is this all you have?” 

“Hmmmm?” 

“One nightgown and these pajamas?” 

“Yes.” 

Philip frowned, “You need at least one more set, what if this was dirty?” 

“Alright,” I nodded thinking about how sweet and wonderful and adorable he is as he led me back to bed.

We laid back down and I drifted off to sleep curled on Philip’s chest. Some time later when I sat up to run to the bathroom Philip’s arm released me immediately. I made it to the toilet before my stomach emptied violently. My knees were resting on the towel Philip had put down for them before and I crossed my arms over the bowl and rested my head on them. Philip put another cool cloth along my neck. 

I vomited a few more times and knew I was not going back to bed. 

“Philip?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Will you bring me a blanket? And then go back to bed?” 

Philip returned with a blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. Then he sat on the floor next to me.

“Go to bed.” 

“No.” 

“Philip, please you have to go to work in the morning, you need your sleep.”

“Darling, I can’t just leave you when you are sick.” 

“I don’t think I am sick.” 

Philip burst out laughing and then said sharply, “Sue, you must be joking. You are sick.” 

“No, I meant I don’t think it’s illness, I think it was those clams.” We’d had dinner at a seafood restaurant last night with another major and a lieutenant colonel and their wives. I’d ordered the house special clams and thought they’d tasted funny, but never having had clams before I wasn’t sure if that’s just how clams tasted. As I emptied my stomach and the bile tasted of clams I decided they are what made me vomit. 

When he hadn’t moved after a few minutes I asked again, “please, Philip, please go to bed.” 

I vomited again. After Philip handed me a cup of water and I rinsed my mouth I handed him back the cup. “Please fill it again and then go to bed. I am more upset that I am keeping you awake on a work night than I am that I am vomiting up disgusting clams.”

Philip finally relented and laid back in bed. I could hear him tossing and turning, but I hoped he would at least get more sleep. 

When Philip got up at 6 I was asleep on the bathroom floor. He woke me and sent me back to bed with a bucket. Philip must have asked me if I was going to be okay while he went to work six or seven times before he finally went. 

My Monday was miserable. I vomited several more times. I tried to eat some crackers but threw them right up. Philip sent Sandy to check on me. I was able to let her in before racing to the bathroom to vomit. She brought me water and left to call Philip. I heard her ask to be connected to Major Kirby, but the sounds of my own retching drowned out the rest of the conversation. Sandy wasn’t able to stay, but left her phone number and told me to call if I needed anything. After she left I went back to the bathroom to lie on the floor in there. 

When Philip came home at the end of the day he found me laying on the bathroom floor dozing. 

“Sue!” He cried alarmed. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes,” I woke with a start, “I just thought I’d lie here instead of going back and forth. I’m sorry I didn’t make dinner or do the laundry.” 

“Susan,” Philip said reprovingly, “don’t be silly.” Then he left the bathroom. Was he angry? I slowly sat up, and worriedly followed him. He was in the living room on the phone. 

“Yes, of course, thank you.” Was all I heard him say. He hung up and turned to see me standing there. 

“Philip, I…” I started. 

“I’m sorry, darling, I didn’t mean to worry you, I just wanted to call for a doctor appointment.” 

“Did you?” 

“Yes, you are going to see the doctor tomorrow at 0900.” 

“Okay,” I said scowling. I hated doctors. 

“Now, would you like to lie on the sofa with your bucket while I eat dinner? Would you like dinner?” 

“No, I don’t want to eat, I will lay with you though.” 

I started laying on the sofa while Philip made himself a sandwich of leftover chicken, but I soon needed to vomit again. Philip came in soon after. He sat on the bathroom floor and read the newspaper to me while I intermittently vomited liquid. All of the solid food had long since left my stomach. 

I eventually begged him to go to bed. I spent the first part of the night on the bathroom floor, but I eventually stopped vomiting long enough to join Philip in bed for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> President Roosevelt actually called General MacArthur back into service on 7/26/1941. In this world that happened 5/26/41. Call it creative license or fanfiction. :)


	6. Tuesday, July 15, 1941

“Is there any chance you might be pregnant?” The doctor asked and I felt my face flush. It was 9:10 Tuesday morning and I was seated on an exam table facing a neatly trimmed and pressed navy doctor. We’d discussed the vomiting, my lack of previous illness, the clams and the lack of a fever when the doctor dropped that bomb. I was stunned. I hadn’t really considered pregnancy. Philip and I hadn’t been using any sort of birth control, though we were making love almost daily, and he was about to go off to war. I had no trouble sending him my love from overseas and knowing I was the picture above his bunk, but would a baby be okay with that? Would I be okay if Philip left me with a baby? Yes, I wanted a piece of him, it might make his deployment easier if I had a small boy with Philip’s soft brown eyes and warm smile. 

Philip sensed I wasn’t going to answer and with his eyes trained on my face answered, “We’ve only been married a few weeks, so it might be too soon to tell, but…” 

“How many weeks?” 

“It will be five weeks tomorrow,” Philip answered. 

The doctor turned his eyes on me, “Have you had your menses since you’ve been married?” 

I turned widened eyes on to Philip and shook my head no. Looking back at the doctor I asked, “Do you think that’s what’s wrong, doctor?”

“No,” he answered carefully, “I think you might be pregnant, and I’ll test your urine, but it might be too soon to tell that. I also think you might have some food poisoning since you aren’t running a fever and don’t have symptoms other than digestive issues. I’m going to order the urine test and for the next few days you may eat only bland foods, toast, rice, applesauce, bananas, oatmeal. You may have mint tea and chamomile too, but no coffee.” 

I frowned at this pronouncement. Philip smothered a smile. He knew of my profound love for coffee. I’d told him on the train to Reno that the hardest part of pretending to be a little girl, other than wanting to claw Pamela’s eyes out, which I left out, was being unable to drink coffee for three days. 

§§§

I vomited again as soon as we were back inside our suite. Philip sat behind me on the bathroom floor and held my hair and stroked my back. When I was finished he handed me a glass of water. We sat on the bathroom floor for a little while as my stomach tried to determine if it had emptied everything it wanted to. 

After a time, Philip kissed my temple and said, “Why don’t you brush your teeth and change back into your pajamas. I’ll make you some toast.” 

He hauled me to my feet and squeezed my fingers before exiting the bathroom. I headed into the bedroom to do just that and I heard Philip make a call, but I couldn’t tell to who. 

When I stepped into the living room I saw Philip standing in front of the door, holding a plate of toast talking to a woman. They both smiled when they saw me.

“Darling,” Philip said, reaching his free hand out to me, “this is my friend Captain Livingston’s wife, Virginia,” 

“Ginny,” the woman inserted. 

“Ginny,” Philip repeated, “I have to go to work, there are some meetings I must attend, but Ginny is going to stay with you. She and Captain Livingston just arrived yesterday, so you can tell her the ins and outs of the base and she will make sure you are following the coffee-free diet the doctor asked you to.” 

I chuckled and took Ginny’s hand. She’d just arrived, that explained why I’d never seen her before. I’d met plenty of the officers’ wives on the base and at gatherings. I’d have to ask Philip how he knew Captain Livingston. 

Ginny smiled and held up a paper bag in her hand. “I brought mint for tea, it does wonders. I’ll just slip into the kitchen and make you a cup.” Turning to Philip she added, “good day, Major. I’ll take good care of her.” 

When Ginny stepped into the kitchen, Philip drew his free arm around me. “I didn’t want you to be alone all day again, darling,” he explained. 

“Philip, I…” I trailed off, there was so much to say. 

“Don’t worry, darling, we’ll talk when I get home. I’ll be here by six. Everything will be wonderful.” 

Philip kissed me, handed me the plate of toast and then turned and left. I was still standing there a few moments later when Ginny returned holding a cup of tea.

“Come, dear,” she said grabbing my arm, “let’s sit so you can eat, it will make you feel better.” 

I spent a pleasant afternoon with Ginny. Ginny was 28, only a few years older than me. She and her husband Charles had been married for eight years and they had a son who was seven and a daughter who was five. 

“We wanted more children,” Ginny explained, “but they never came. Now I’m so grateful to have a son and a daughter.” 

I vomited a few more times, but with decreasing frequency and when Philip came home right at 6 with a carton of steaming rice and a meal for himself, I’d had four vomit free hours. 

Ginny left and told me she’d stop by tomorrow to make sure I was alright. 

After he’d closed the door behind Ginny, Philip turned to me, “How do you feel, darling?” 

“Better.”

“Really better?” Philip asked drawing me into the circle of his arms and kissing my temple. 

“Yes, it’s been several hours since I vomited.” 

“I’m glad darling, do you think you can eat some rice?” 

“Yes,” I said smiling up at him. 

We sat at the table and Philip ate his dinner of roasted chicken, green beans, potatoes and biscuits while I slowly ate rice. The rice felt better in my stomach than the toast I’d eaten earlier. 

“Philip…” I ventured.

“After you’ve eaten, darling,” he cut me off knowing what I wanted to discuss. 

I sipped mint tea, which did help with the nausea, and ate small spoonfuls of rice until I couldn’t put another one in my mouth. When Philip was done eating he cleared his place himself and took my bowl into the kitchen. 

When he returned he pulled me up from my seat at the table and then walked me over to the sofa. We sat with his arm around me and my knees curled up to my chest and my head resting on Philip’s shoulder. 

“Sue,” he began slowly, “how do you feel?” 

“Right now? Or about?” I wasn’t sure how to bring up the possibility of pregnancy. I knew it was on both of our minds, but we’d known each other such a short time I had no idea if Philip wanted children. 

“Both.” 

“I feel better, less nauseous, the mint tea helps and I’ve kept some toast down, so I’m hopeful the rice will stay down…” after a deep breath I continue, “as for a baby, Philip, I’ve been thinking about it all day. At first I was shocked, we hadn’t discussed it at all and I don’t know if you want children, or want them so soon…but…I,” I pick my head up so I can look into Philip’s eyes, “I hope I am pregnant. I want your son or daughter with your sweet eyes with me while you are away. I want to have a piece of you with me always.” 

Philip leaned forward and kissed me so passionately I felt a stirring of desire through the low level nausea. When he pulled away he kissed my cheeks and forehead before whispering, “I’m so glad, Sue. I was worried because I also want to leave a piece of me behind with you just in case, but I wasn’t sure that was fair to you.” 

I could feel the smile light up my face, but then I kissed his cheek, “It’s not fair to you either, you might miss all of the firsts and the day your son is born. I know that’s not fair, Philip, but …” 

“It’s what I want too. It would be better if I was here. I want to hold your hand and kiss you when you bring our child into the world and remind you how beautiful you are when pregnancy makes you feel otherwise. But even more than that, I want you to be happy.” 

I smile up at him, “So we are agreed? We hope I am pregnant?” 

“We are and we do,” Philip said as he slid his hand between my legs and body to rest over my belly. 

“I love you Sue-sue,” Philip added after a few moments. 

“I love you too, Philip. So much.” 

 

§§§ Friday, July 18, 1941

By Friday I was completely back to normal and hadn’t vomited in two days. That night Philip and I had dinner with Ginny and Charles Livingston. Charles was shipping out to North Africa on Tuesday. As I looked at the love shining on Ginny’s face I felt a mix of peace and terror. Soon, in just over three short weeks, Philip would be shipping out and the thought made me terrified. But something in the peace and love on Ginny’s face made me feel like I’d be able to stand it. 

As I’m sure was inevitable at some point the talk turned to Charles impending embarkation. Ginny clasped my hand and said, “I sure will miss you.” 

“Where are you going?” I asked feeling an unexpected disappointment Ginny wouldn’t be staying in San Diego. 

“Once Charles leaves the children and I will head back to Missouri. That’s where my family is, just outside of St. Louis, and I’ll need them while Charles is gone.” 

This gave me pause, I loved San Diego and was planning on staying and finding work, but if I was pregnant? I couldn’t stay here and have the baby alone. I’d have to go back to Iowa and be with my mother. 

That night as we laid in bed cooling off from a frenzied bout of love making after a three-day absence Philip said, “Sue-sue, I think you should go back to Iowa.” 

“I was thinking the same, if I am pregnant, I don’t want to be here alone.” 

“Mmmm,” Philp started. The doctor had called him this afternoon, my urine test was inconclusive, the hormone that indicates pregnancy was slightly, so slightly elevated, but it was just too soon to be certain. The doctor recommended that I go back for another urine test in a week or so. I thought that was silly, I’d poured over a calendar and realized I’d missed a flow that I’d expected to start June 25th and then the next one should start Monday. If it hasn’t come by a week from today I’d decided, I’ll have missed two monthly flows and I’ll know I’m pregnant. I’d been carefully checking for blood every time I went to the bathroom for the past few days. I had already decided to wait until next Friday to share this with Philip just in case the first missed flow was an anomaly and this one was coming, but then Philip said, “even if you aren’t pregnant, darling, I’ll worry about you if you are here alone.” 

“Philip,” I sat up not even trying to hide my nudity, “I am pregnant. I just know it.” 

“But the doctor said they couldn’t tell for another week or so until you miss a second, you know, time of the month.” 

I burst out laughing, “well, we’ll know very, very soon then.”

“What do you mean,” 

“My second flow should start by Monday, my first should have come at the end of June and, and well, I didn’t realize it because … well, I just wasn’t paying attention and the time has been passing so quickly I hadn’t missed it’s coming. I’d decided today that if my flow doesn’t come by a week from today, days after it should, then I am pregnant.” 

Philip smiled and pulled me back down to lay across his chest. “Let’s take you for a urine test next Friday then.” 

“That sounds lovely,” I smiled into his chest and then drifted off to sleep listening to his heartbeat beneath my cheek.


	7. Monday, July 21, 1941

Philip was standing at the sink shaving Monday morning when I pushed past him to vomit into the toilet.

“Sue! Are you alright?” Philip asked as he put his razor down and filled a glass of water. He stepped over and handed me the water asking, “Do you think it’s the clams again?”

“No,” I croaked out, then rinsed my mouth and spit into the toilet. I turned to beam up at him, “I think it’s morning sickness.” 

Philip smiled and ran his fingers through my hair before wetting a washcloth and placing it on the back of my neck. I dry heaved a little and then felt like I was finished so I joined Philip at the sink and brushed my teeth while he shaved. When we were both finished he kissed me deeply. I knew it was his way of saying he also hoped it was morning sickness. 

“Will you be alright alone today?” Philip asked when I pulled away for air. 

“Yes. I’m not sick. I feel wonderful.” 

“I’m glad Sue-sue,” Philip kissed me briefly and then finished getting ready. 

After Philip left for work I decided to call on Ginny, the Livingston’s lived in a suite in a hall across a courtyard from ours so the walk was very brief. We had a delightful morning chatting and sipping mint tea. Ginny gave me a lot of pregnancy advice including that morning sickness was a misnomer. 

Tuesday evening I learned just how right Ginny was. I hadn’t thrown up again the rest of Monday and felt perfectly well, and happy and hopeful, all day. Tuesday morning I vomited again when I got up and expected Tuesday to pass much the same as Monday had. 

But Tuesday evening Philip and I had dinner with Major Gene Thompson and his wife Camille. Major Thompson was deploying with Philip and the two thought it would be nice for Camille and I to get to know each other. Gene looked to be much older than Philip and I, in his late 50s if not his 60s and Camille was probably only a year or two younger that Gene. They had two grown daughters who both lived in Chicago where Gene was from. 

Phillip, Gene and Camille all ordered fish, but since the clam incident I wasn’t too keen on seafood so I ordered pork chops. When the food came, the smell of fish was overpowering and I knew I was going to be sick. I leaped up from the table and bolted for the ladies room without a word. I was kneeling in front of a toilet vomiting when Camille came in calling softly, “Mrs. Kirby? Susan? Are you…” 

Camille stopped when she came up behind me. “Oh, darling, are you ill or expecting?” 

When I finished retching I answered, “I think I’m expecting.” 

“Oh, how wonderful! Congratulations!” After a pause Camille added, “but fish won’t help, the smell of fish made me ill with both my daughters, with my younger that lasted the whole pregnancy too.” 

When I felt like I was done vomiting I slowly stood and went to the sink to rinse my mouth. I pulled the towel roll to a clean spot and dried my face and hands. 

Camille was staring at me with an expression that was kind but firm, “You can’t go back to the table.” She said and I didn’t know how to respond. I stood for a moment staring at her. 

“You wait here, dear and I’ll go tell the waiter to pack up your dinner and something else without fish for Philip. Then you two go home and have dinner there.” 

“Oh, no,” I interjected, “we can’t do that.” 

“Of course you can, and later this week I’ll have you both over for supper, I’ll cook us some chicken pot pie, that should be fine on your stomach and there should be no fish smells in the house. That will be much better and we can get to know each other then.”

“That is so kind, thank you.” 

“Now, now,” Camille patted my cheek, “you go to the entrance and wait for Philip to come with the food. I’ll have he and Gene work out a day for supper.” 

“Thank you,” I said. As I weaved my way through the tables to the entrance I saw Philip stand to come follow out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn’t stop, other tables smelled like fish and my stomach roiled, I needed to get all of the way outside to breathe in fresh air. 

I stepped outside and breathed in deeply before leaning back on the wall next to the door. Seconds later Philip burst through the door, “Susan! Are you alright? What’s wrong?” I could hear the worry in his voice. I reached my hand out to take his and said, “I’m sorry, darling, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just needed to get outside, the fish smells were making me sick.” 

“What are we going to do? Let me go in and tell the Thompsons you are ill and we need to leave.” 

I chuckled, “Don’t worry about that, dear. Camille is having the waiter pack my dinner and something without fish for you for us to eat at home. She’s going to have you and Gene work out a night for us to go to their house for dinner this week. That way there won’t be any fish smell. She… she figured out what it was pretty quickly.” 

“Alright, darling,” Philip said kissing my temple, “let’s go gather our dinner and say goodbye and get home.” 

“Would you make my excuses for me? I don’t want to go back in there.” 

Philip smiled and kissed me briefly, “Of course, darling. I’ll be right back.” 

§§§ Thursday, July 23, 1941

I was worried when I didn’t vomit at all Wednesday, but Thursday more than made up for it. I vomited several times Thursday and felt terrible. I actually wondered if perhaps I wasn’t pregnant, but sick, but my flow still hadn’t come and I had no other symptoms. 

I called the doctor to see if I could come for a urine test because I felt strongly that I was pregnant and wanted to know if there were things I should be doing or not doing. I knew not to drink alcohol but that was it. The woman who answered told me to come in, so I did. I didn’t see the doctor at all, but gave my urine sample. I vomited while I was there. The nurse heard and when I handed her the sample asked if I was ill and I told her no and looked at the urine sample. “Oh,” she smiled, “I’ll have them rush this.” I thanked her and left. 

When I arrived home around 3:30 pm, Philip was there on the phone. 

“Never mind, she’s here,” he said and hung up. Turning he pulled me into his arms, crushing me to him.

“You’re home early, is everything alright?” I asked as Philip asked, “Sue! Where were you, I was so worried.” 

We laughed. “You first, darling,” Philip smiled, not releasing me from his hold.

“Is everything alright, you’re home early?” 

“Yes, we finished our meetings early today and the colonel dismissed us for the day. Where were you, darling? I was worried sick when I came home and you weren’t here and I didn’t know where you were. Did your sewing circle run late?” 

“No, I didn’t go today because I felt so nauseous. But I called the doctor and they said I could go for the urine test, so I did. That’s where I was.” 

“Oh, darling,” Philip kissed all over my face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, I didn’t expect you back or I would have left a note.” 

Friday after Philip left for work and I vomited I went to the store to buy groceries. Philip’s favorite meal is lamb chops and roasted potatoes and as it’s our second to last weekend together I wanted to make it special. At 4:30 I’d just started creaming spinach to round out the meal when the phone rang. 

“Hello?” 

“Is this Mrs. Kirby?” 

“Yes, who is this?” 

“Mrs. Kirby, my name is Nancy, I’m the nurse from the clinic yesterday.” 

“Oh, yes, Nancy! Is something wrong?” 

“Oh, no, I just wanted to let you know that I bullied the sergeant into running your test today and I wanted to call and give you the good news.” 

The lambchops became a celebratory dinner. I’d been trying to think of a clever way to tell Philip I was pregnant but the good news must have shown on my face because as soon as he walked in he took one look at me and cried, “Sue-sue! You’re pregnant!” 

“Yes, Philip!” I told him and we laughed and cried and kissed passionately before sitting down to our cooling lambchops. 

Later while Philip and I sat on the sofa sharing a bowl of ice cream for dessert I told him, “Philip, if he’s a boy, I want to name him after you.” 

“What do you want to name her if she’s a girl?” 

“Lucy.” 

Philip laughed and hugged me to him. “I think little Lucy Hill will be thrilled with that.” 

“Do you agree?” 

“I do, and I think, you get to name this one since you will be alone.”

“And you’ll name our next one?”

“Yes.” 

“Alright.” I leaned up and kissed him until he put the bowl down and lead me to our bedroom. 

Later, when we lay naked in our bed with our bodies cooling Philip ran his fingers down my back, “Sue-sue, I want you to go back to Iowa.” 

I nodded. Now that I was pregnant I knew I would not be working and there was no reason pay for rent here. Plus, in Iowa I would have my mother; here I would be alone. “I will. As soon as you leave.” 

“Do you think you’ll be alright traveling alone in your condition?” 

I sighed and squeezed Philip to me, “Honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever be alright on a train without you again. There are just too many happy, wonderful memories of you to break my heart. But I’m strong and I’ll be okay. And when I’m in Iowa you can be sure mother will take good care of me.” 

“You are a wonderful, strong woman, Susan. I am so sorry I won’t be with you.” 

“I am too, but I meant what I said that day at the station. I know you are going off to protect the world, to make it so that our baby grows up in a safe world. And you are such a wonderful man you were willing to do it when it was only other people’s babies. I will be sad, so sad, to be without you, especially the day the baby comes and all of those firsts, like the first time he kicks, but, Philip, I know the world needs you more than I do and when you come home, when the war is over, you and the baby and I will have so much time to be together.” 

Philip rolled me onto my back and made love to me again. 

After that, the days seemed to pass even more quickly. We telegrammed my mother that Philip and I were expecting a baby and that I’d be returning to Iowa when Philip deployed. Philip booked train tickets for me. He was due to embark at noon on the 4th, so he booked me onto the 7 pm train to San Francisco. He wired ahead and booked my ticket from San Francisco to Stevenson. I’d be back in Iowa late Thursday the 7th. 

When Philip gave me all of his banking information and made sure I know how to access his accounts I burst into tears. 

“Darling, what is it?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Sue, shhhh, what’s upsetting you.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to work?” 

“Yes. We are married and I make enough to support our family. There’s no need for you to work. Besides you need to take care of the baby and when she comes, you’ll be alone and she’ll be your full-time job.”

“He.” 

Philip laughed heartily, “I guess we’ll see who’s right about that.” Then he kissed the tears off my cheeks, “what’s worrying you, darling?” 

“I don’t know. I guess just the thought of paying for things myself made me realize how really far away you’ll be?” I stated tremulously, my voice rising as I spoke. 

“Are you asking me?” 

I laughed, “No, I just. I’m not sure why I was crying. I think it’s the baby making me cry.”


	8. Monday, August 4, 1941

It came too fast. It seemed that one moment Philip and I were curled together on the sofa listening to the radio or naked in our bed making love and the very next moment I was standing on a dock trying not to weep. 

Philip’s bags were already on board. Mine were at the station. 

Philip and I stood in a crushing embrace. I could see Camille and Gene not too far away also embracing. Very few of the enlisted men had wives who had traveled to San Diego and they trooped onto the ship with little fanfare. Almost all of the two dozen officers who were embarking were standing in the same area to the side of the boarding ramp Philip and I were saying goodbye to their wives and children. 

Philip had said goodbye to the baby yesterday. We hadn’t even gone to church. We started making love on Saturday and carried through most of yesterday. I wanted to memorize every inch of Philip’s skin and how he moved and tasted and smelled. I think he felt the same way. Yesterday he’d laid his head on my completely flat stomach and whispered over and over, “I love you, baby, I love you. Be good for your mother. I’ll see you soon, I love you,” and kissed the place where deep below the skin out baby had started to grow. 

When the warning horn sounded, Philip kissed me fiercely and whispered, “I love you” against my lips. “I love you too,” I whispered back, my voice shaking. “Tack my picture above your bunk, will you?” I asked echoing my words from the moment we sat on the porch, me pretending to be my mother, and I realized it might be possible for us. This might be possible for us. “I will. And I have your lock of hair in my watch.” “I’ll send you one of the baby’s as soon as he’s born,” I promised. Then I kissed him once more and whispered, “go save the world so it’s safe.” Tears were starting to prick the sides of my eyes and I did not want to cry when I knew that would make it harder for Philip to walk away. “I love you, Sue-sue.” “I love you too.” Philip kissed me once and crushed me to him before turning and walking up to the boarding ramp. I stood rooted to the spot until Camille came over and took my arm. “Let’s go sit,” she said softly, “it will be a while before they actually pull away from the dock.” 

Camille was going to visit her children in Chicago and Philip and Gene arranged for us to have adjacent train compartments all the way through Iowa. Philip’s smile had lit his face when he told me about this arrangement. I have to admit I was similarly thrilled. I love Philip with every fiber of my being and I know he will come home to me and our child, I hope it will be soon, but I was very nervous about taking such a long train journey without him. He won’t be there. His jacket won’t hang in our compartment, I won’t be able to hear him breathe or rest my head on his chest. I know that I will ache for him, but at least I will not be completely alone on a train missing him for four days. 

Camille and I sat in silence for almost an hour until the ropes were cast off and the ship began to pull away. I grasped her hand at the sight, completely unembarrassed that tears were running down my cheeks. Camille put her arm around me and we sat until we could no longer distinguish the ship carrying our husbands away. 

When Camille and I boarded our train she asked if I would like to sit in the dining car or have tea. I clenched my jaw to stop the tears and shook my head no. 

“Alright,” she smiled softly at me grasping my arm, “but whenever you need to talk or don’t want to be alone I’m right here.” 

I thanked her and stepped into my compartment. The bunk hadn’t been made up yet, so I made the upper, not wanting to sleep in the lower without Philip and crawled in. I cried almost the entire way to San Francisco. 

As Camille and I took the shuttle to our next train and I saw her peaceful expression but red rimmed, slightly puffy eyes, I resolved to be strong. I love Philip and I know he is coming home to us. So I decided I can miss him all I want, but I can’t grieve, there is nothing to grieve over. I will hold him in my arms and kiss him and love him and make more children with him. So, I need to be the best mother I can for the baby we’ve already made, and that means taking care of myself. 

Camille and I spend almost the entire rest of the journey to Stevenson together. We would sit in her compartment and sip tea and talk about our pasts and pregnancy. Sometimes she would read and I would work on the baby blanket I was knitting. Philip had surprised me with a beautiful soft white yarn. The blanket would be too nice, and white, for every day use, but I loved knowing I’d be able to tuck our baby in with the blanket made from yarn he chose on the nights that were hard. 

At night I’d return to my compartment and sleep in the upper bunk. The porter had opened his mouth to say something when I’d asked him to only make up the upper but seeing the look on my face chose not to respond. Whenever I’d come in at night only the upper was made. 

When the train stopped Camille and I didn’t feel much like stretching our legs or sightseeing, so we rarely joined the other passengers spilling out for 10-20 minute strolls. In those quiet moments with Camille where my heart felt so swollen I was sure it would burst from my chest at any moments I began to find the peace and strength I knew I would need. If I woke up alone at night I’d put my hand on my belly and whisper to our baby, Philip’s baby, until I could fall back asleep. I felt an odd mixture of terrible sadness and joy. 

 

§§§ 

Our train had been delayed due to a brush fire and I didn’t get back to Stevenson until 6 am Friday morning. Mother was waiting at the station and at the sight of her I burst into tears. 

I introduced Camille and Mother and Mother handed Camille a box of breakfast, sandwiches and small jar of strawberry jam for the rest of her journey to Chicago. Then Mother took my arm and led me home. We spent all day Friday sipping tea and coffee and talking. I told Mother all about how I had met Philip and my time at Wallace Military, I’d written her about them once I’d left to marry Philip, but the letters hadn’t conveyed so much and it was somehow healing to share how we’d met and fallen in love. 

I soon settled into a routine helping mother prepare fruit and make preserves. I was looking forward to when the weather would cool and apples would come into season, applesauce and apple butter are two of my favorites and I longed to sit by a fire one evening with Philip sharing a bowl of ice cream and hot applesauce. 

I spent most evenings writing letters. Camille and I exchanged letters and the scraps of news we’d gleaned from our husbands letters weekly. Ginny and I wrote every few days. Whenever I received her letter I’d respond the same day and I knew she was doing the same because we never went more than a few days without a letter. 

I wrote Philip almost every day and every Saturday would post all of the new letters in a packet. I also sent Philip care packages of my mother’s jellies and jams. The first care package was a variety of cookies, but Philip wrote the cookies arrived broken and stale but even the crumbs had been delicious. After that I switched to preserves. Philip told me people trailed after him hoping for him to share, grape jelly and apple butter were special favorites, whenever he received a package. 

Philip also wrote often, but his letters arrived in drips and drabs, sometimes three at a time and sometimes weeks would go by without a letter. 

As our baby grew and kicked and moved I had days I couldn’t help my mother at all, but would stay in bed and stare at nothing. Sometimes I burst into tears for no reason. Ginny and her letters helped me the most on those hard days. She knew what I was experiencing. Charles had been deployed before and she remembered how frightened she was the first time with two small children. I tried to make those days as few as possible, I knew I needed to be strong and healthy for the baby, but I also knew I needed to let the sadness be when it came. 

 

§

I wept as my mother and I sat side by side in rocking chairs listening to the radio on December 7th. I was almost six months pregnant, Philip was overseas, America had been attacked and now we were joining the second world war. 

Ginny called us long distance to reassure me and make sure I was taking care of myself. Mother held me as I cried myself to sleep that night. I’ve never felt as alone and as loved at the same as I did that day. I wrote Philip an entire letter that was nothing but how much I loved him. 

I woke up to even worse news on December 8th. About nine hours after bombing Pearl Harbor, during what was the middle of the night there, the Japanese bombed Clark Field in the Philippines where Philip was stationed. I threw up when I heard the news over the radio. Huge portions of the base had been leveled, numerous planes on Iba Field were destroyed and there were numerous casualties. 

I called Camille who was staying in Chicago with her younger daughter in Chicago. Camille promised to contact me by phone or telegram as soon as she heard anything. I promised her the same. Before we hung up she said, “Susan, if Philip was killed the army will send a soldier to notify you in person. It will likely take them a week or two to identify everyone and make notifications. They still have the Pearl Harbor notifications to make too, so perhaps even longer. I, well, I thought you should know so if you see a soldier approaching you’ll know why. And if you don’t within a few weeks you’ll just have to know that Philip is alive and loves you and can’t write.” 

“Thank you,” I whispered. Her words surprisingly gave me strength and calm. I believed that I would know somehow if Philip had left this earth. Every night and every morning I prayed for him. And I prayed for our baby. I knew that I could not fall apart, not when I was carrying the only piece of Philip I had with me. So I carried on. I talked to the baby, I took walks. I helped my mother with her winter mint jelly. My mother seemed to understand my resolve. She didn’t question me about it. She silently asked me to do things I could while seated and rubbed my back when it ached. 

As the weeks passed and no solider arrived on our doorstep I grew calm. When the phone rang on Christmas Eve no liquid panic flooded my veins. 

“Susan,” my mother called, “it’s for you.” 

It was Camille. Gene had telegraphed her from Hawaii. He’d lost both of his legs when they were crushed during the attack and had been transported back to the U.S. for more medical treatment. He and about 60 other men wounded at Clark Field had been transported by a circuitous route to Hawaii where they’d picked up even more wounded and were heading to San Diego. Camille sounded overjoyed when she told me she was going to take a 10:15 pm train and start making her way to San Diego.

I asked her to check the time table and let me know when her train stopped in Stevenson. I’d meet her at the station with a care package of jams and preserves and pumpkin bread. She told me she could not possibly interrupt my Christmas that way. I told her nothing could possibly make this Christmas merrier and she agreed. I would meet her at 11 am tomorrow with a care package. 

Then I asked tentatively, “Camille, did Gene say anything about Philip?” 

“Oh, my darling girl, I am so sorry!” Camille exclaimed, “I was so overjoyed, I completely forgot to tell you. Philip is fine. He didn’t get a scratch in the attack.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Thank you! Thank you!” 

When we hung up I sat on the floor right in front of the door and wept for the first time since I’d heard the awful news the 8th. My mother rushed over and drew me into her arms. 

“He’s alive, he’s alive,” I cried over and over as she rocked me. 

I wept again when I hugged Camille at the station. Mother and I had had a lovely Christmas Eve dinner in celebration of the good news. We packed a large box of pumpkin bread, mint jelly, apple butter, strawberry jam, peach jam and cookies for Camille and Gene. I didn’t have a way to send a care package to Philip and I needed to care for someone. Camille’s stop was ten minutes and we hugged and cried the entire time. 

Christmas was both overwhelmingly joyous, my Philip was alive, and overwhelmingly sad, he was overseas for our first Christmas and his child was kicking and lively within me, almost as if he knew it was a holiday. 

On the 26th I awoke to more bad news. General MacArthur had surrendered Manila and retreated. There had been furious fighting during the retreat. My joy evaporated and I resumed my steely resolve. 

§

When the letter finally came on February 4th my mother had to open the envelope because my hands were shaking so badly. Philip was alive, injured, but alive and out in the pacific floating on a Navy vessel. 

Philip had been part of the force that stayed behind in Manila to close the army headquarters and supervise the last of the evacuation to Corregidor and the shipment of the supplies. Most of the troops had been evacuated, but because of some miscommunication the navy transport vessel was still half an hour away from docking when MacArthur had gone on the radio and declared Manila an open city. The attack began just as the ship was docking. The army had loaded less than an eighth of the supplies and then determined they would have to destroy the remainder and evacuate the last of the personnel. Philip had been supervising the boarding of the last of the troops that had blown up the supplies when a bomb dropped nearby and he’d been hit with shrapnel. 

Philip wrote that he remembered the blast, but didn’t feel any pain and had woken up the next day in the ship’s medical bay laying on his stomach. His left leg had been torn open from his hip to halfway down his calf. He must have been turning as the shrapnel hit because his leg wound was mostly down the side of his leg and angled toward his buttocks halfway up his thigh, but the back of his left arm, shoulder and head had all been hit. Most of the wounds had been cleaned and stitched, but the wound in his leg had been deeper. From the side of Philip’s knee up to his buttocks the wound was deep and chunks of flesh had been torn away. They stapled as much of the wound closed as they could, but had mostly kept the open parts dressed until Philip had been transferred to a hospital in Sydney Australia. There Philip was laid on his side so they could stretch the skin on his stomach with balloons. When the skin on his stomach was stretched enough, they began harvesting it and grafting it onto the wound on his leg. 

Philip had been on a lot of pain medications and in and out of consciousness for weeks during the treatment. He hadn’t been able to write until he’d arrived in Sydney and been more awake and alert. He wrote that he’d had the first of several grafting surgeries and as soon as the doctors felt he was well enough to travel he’d be taken to Walter Reed Medical Center for the rest of the surgeries and treatment. Philip warned me the scars would likely always be ugly and that the grafted skin and scars might always be stiff enough he would walk with a limp. I did not care. 

The letter was dated January 18th and Philip said he would write as often as possible and that he hoped to be home before the baby was born. He directed me to stay in Iowa with my mother until he arrived. 

I telegrammed Ginny and Camille the good news. Gene had also been discharged and when he was finished with all of his surgeries and therapy for him to learn to walk on his prosthetic legs, they were going to move back to Chicago in the summer. I begged them to stop in Stevenson for a day or so on their way and to meet the baby that will have come by then. Camille promised. 

 

Philip did write often. He told me how well the wounds on his arm, shoulder and back were healing and about how the surgeries were progressing. He never mentioned being in pain, which was how I knew he was in excruciating pain. He wrote about what we would do and where we would live when he returned. Philip knew he could go back to Wallace Military, but he hoped he would be able to teach at West Point or take a desk job in Washington instead of being medically discharged. It might be safer to have him go back to Wallace Military, but I also hoped he would be able to take an office job stateside. I knew that Philip valued being of service almost more than anything else and being discharged just as America was going to war would haunt him. 

I wrote about everything, what my mother and I were making, how I was growing, when the baby kicked. I wrote how his whole body could be covered in scars and I would still love him and still want him. I wrote, truthfully, that I would be happy no matter what job he took after he was well, as long as I got to be with him. 

On March 8th I received a letter dated March 1, 1942 in which Philip wrote that he had been declared well enough to travel and was going to Washington to be debriefed and to be treated by the Army doctors at Walter Reed. He told me he would telegram when he was stateside and that I was not to travel in my condition under any circumstances. 

I discussed Philip’s wishes at length with my mother and telephoned both Ginny and Camille asking their opinions. My mother thought I should do as Philip asked. I wanted to go to Washington now and if I arrived first I would wait. I wanted to be there when he arrived and I wanted to see him as soon as possible. I also thought although it would be uncomfortable, it would be easier to travel in my last month of pregnancy than alone with a newborn. Ginny and Camille both advised me to go. 

So I did. I traveled to Washington and arrived March 12th. I went directly to Walter Reed and asked after Philip. Relief made my knees go weak when the young man at the information desk told me Philip had arrived a few hours before and was being seen by a doctor. Once he gave me directions to Philip’s room I moved as swiftly as I could with my expanding girth, when I tried to enter a nurse made me wait until the doctor’s examination concluded. 

The twenty minutes I had to wait in the hall outside his room were the longest of my life. I’d started having sharp pains in my back on the train. I tried to stretch, I tried sitting, I tried standing but nothing was helping. I thought a good night’s sleep in a soft hotel bed after kissing Philip would help. 

A doctor in military fatigues stepped out and noticed me. I stepped forward but my breath had caught in my throat. 

“Mrs. Kirby?” he asked. 

I nodded. 

“Ah,” he said smiling. “I’m Captain Lars. Your husband asked that we telegram you. I see that it’s unnecessary.” 

“Can I see him?” 

“Yes, go right in.” 

I shouted, “thank you,” over my shoulder as I pushed past him. 

Philip was laying on his right side facing away from the door. A contraption kept his left leg elevated. His left leg and hip were covered in bandages. His hospital gown was tied in the back at his neck and low on his hips, but the rest was hanging open and I could see a few places that were still bandaged and several angry red scars along the left side of his back. His head had been shaved unevenly and I could see a jagged scar at the base of his skull. 

He didn’t move as I rushed as quickly as I could around the side of his bed. 

“Sue! Oh my god!” he cried when he caught sight of me. 

“Philip!” 

I dropped to my knees at the side of his bed and pulled him into my arms. I was crying and laughing at the same time and began kissing everywhere I could reach. Finally my lips found his and we kissed for what felt like eternity and a split second before we both needed to breathe. 

I ran my fingers over all of the uninjured skin I could reach. When Philip asked me to stand so he could touch our baby I did. He pulled me as close as he could and rested his face against my belly. His tears soaked my shirt as I ran my fingers through his hair. 

When my belly seized, Philip drew back in surprise. “Sue, are you in labor?” 

“No, I don’t think so, my back has been hurting from the train ride.” 

Philip squinted his eyes up at me and pushed the call button for the nurse. 

“Are you in pain?” I asked as I stood at his bedside and he continued to rub my belly. 

“No,” he smiled, “I guess I’m too happy to be in pain.” 

A civilian nurse came in and was in the middle of asking, “Oh, you have a visitor do you need…” when she rounded the end of the bed and gasped. 

At her gasp I jumped. 

“What? What is it?” I asked. 

“I’ll be right back with a wheelchair.” 

“Why? Oh…” As I turned to look after her I saw the pool of liquid with a streak of blood on the floor beneath my feet. I hadn’t felt my water break or noticed my skirt was wet at all. I guess Philip was write about being too happy to be in pain. 

I kissed Philip goodbye as the nurse returned with a wheelchair and an orderly carrying a mop. Before I knew it I was in the chair and being whisked away. 

“I love you, Sue-sue!” Philip called as I was pushed out of the room. 

I tried to respond but suddenly my entire middle was wracked with pain and I groaned and leaned forward, grasping my rigid belly. How had I not noticed this pain? 

Lucy Virginia Kirby was born at 3:00 am March 13, 1942 while her father lay in his own hospital bed two floors below. While I wanted him in the delivery room with me, or pacing the hall right outside like most fathers, he was alive and whole and healing and we would all be together soon.


End file.
